


Not yet, Loki

by serafina_constantine



Category: Norse Religion & Lore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 17:24:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14265978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serafina_constantine/pseuds/serafina_constantine
Summary: Loki and Sigyn in the cave - moments leading up to the end of the worlds





	Not yet, Loki

It had been some time since the last Asgardian footfall resounded within the cave’s walls. Loki had meant to exchange words with Sigyn, sitting on her legs beside him, after they left. But as he opened his mouth to speak, no words came. He found himself speechless for the first time as he gazed at her, partly shrouded in darkness, eyes empty of emotion as if she were already dead, her blank stare fixed on the bowl in her hands.   
  
Half a century passed between them in silence.   
—

He grew used to the sting of the serpent’s venom - or at least, had learned to expect it from time to time. It was truly painful, demanding from his body involuntary violent reactions. Those few instances where the bowl had not been there to protect him were the only times he ever had a chance to use his voice in those years, howling in agony. Loki had become acquainted to that sort of pain, unbearable though it may be. But nothing could have prepared him for something far worse.  
  
His body remained alert even as he slept, anticipating the bite of poison, though this time he felt something different land on his scarred cheek. He opened his eyes cautiously and was stunned to realize they were tears.  _Sigyn had finally wept._  His wife stood over him, her face no longer expressionless. What began as soft weeping escalated into brutal sobs. She clutched the bowl tightly, knuckles turning white as bone. Loki’s tears mingled with hers and though it broke him to see her face so twisted with pain, he kept his eyes on her. A myriad of emotions fought for dominance within him. He felt everything all at once. A hunger for destruction, a thirst for vengeance, an unparalleled shame, the bottomless well of a father’s grief, and sorrow for the woman who was his love. These were what would soon drive him to end the nine worlds.  
—  

Later, when silence had been restored in their cave, Loki at last spoke.  “S-Sigyn…”  
His voice was hoarse from disuse.  
  
“Loki”   
  
“Look at me.”   
  
And she did. Their eyes met for the first time in so long. She found on his face all the questions he could not bring himself to speak. Sigyn felt she was ready to answer them. 

“I am needed here, Loki.” She continued before he could protest. “The gods…every living soul throughout the nine worlds. They need me here as much as you do.”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
The goddess was slightly ashamed to admit the truth, and though she wanted to turn away from him, she didn’t.  
  
“You haven’t figured it out yet. That I…I am what’s keeping you here.”  
  
Loki stared at her in disbelief. Suddenly, the situation became clearer, and much harder to bear.   
“Your power.” 

She nodded slowly. “I could have used magic to rid us of that snake.” Sigyn frowned. “But all my strength is spent trying to subdue yours. The slightest quiver would set you free.”  
  
Loki felt a sharp pang in his chest. That explained the incantation in his chains. Why their son’s guts had been so binding. He wanted to ask why she would do such a thing. He wanted to lash out and scream all over again. But he knew.  _They were more than just Loki and Sigyn - two gods who loved each other and have lost so much. They were two pans of a scale, maintaining between them the worlds’ balance. Darkness and light. Order and chaos._

_“_ You needed to do what you did. You had no choice.” He said simply.  
  
“Let us not kid ourselves, Loki.  _This_  - “ Sigyn gestured towards the ground  ~~where neither wanted to acknowledge the blood stains of their children~~ _“ -_ was your doing.” She gripped the bowl in her hands tighter and fought back tears. “And even though I know I should hate you - even when I _do_  - I don’t. Not enough to erase my love, or cease the piteous beating of my damned heart.”

Loki fell silent. He wanted to say that he loved her as well, from the very bottom of his own heart - but it was too painful to say.   
  
Finally, he turned his pleading eyes on her. “When will you release me?”  
  
And she turned her head away from him once more.    
“Not yet, Loki”  
—  
  
Every now and then he would ask her the same question.  
  
“…release me?” He’d whisper.  
  
And she would offer the same answer.  
  
“Not yet, Loki.“  
—  
  
As time passed, Loki witnessed his wife gradually becoming weaker and weaker. He begged her harder to set him free, to flee the cave and survive. She was carrying on without so much as a wink of sleep, no water, and nothing else to keep her sane. She should not have even lasted so long. It was a miracle that she could still get up to dump the poison at the far end of the cavern.  
  
Eventually his desperation transformed into bitter anger.   
  
He screamed at her emaciated face to stop. “STOP! Neither of us can go on like this. We can only be gods for so long. And then - “    
  
“Not yet, Loki.” She whispered, her tears once again staining his reddened cheeks. “But soon.”  
—  
  
He did not understand then. But he understood now.  
  
They were two equally powerful forces fighting for control, and she had been winning all these years. But now it is his time. Time for the end to begin.   
  
And when peace born from the power of constancy dies away… _chaos rises_  
  
 _chaos brings armies  
  
chaos devours the worlds in his infinite grief_  
  
 _chaos revels in the madness of it all,_ ~~a lunatic dancing in the flames~~  
  
 _chaos wins_  
  
and then,  _chaos dies_

**Author's Note:**

> WOOOOH this is officially my first story on this site!   
> Anyway, I added a little twist, or a different take on Sigyn's being the incantation fetter. I was like, what if she was not only helping her husband, but also working to stave off Ragnarok by keeping him there for as long as she could? Of course, this doesn't mean she was in cahoots with the gods who killed their sons. NOPE. She just decided it was the right thing to do, despite her grief. I hope that makes sense :)


End file.
